I’m not sure when I really “decided” that I wanted to actually commit actions as opposed to writing about my desire to do so, but I know that I have officially crossed the line from thinker to doer.
I used to be a doer, but since the kids were born (six years, now) I’ve been plowing ahead through work, grad school and work, and then more work. My desire for the outside, and for other creative pursuits like writing, tried to assert itself, but I didn’t have the energy to engage them. Now, I’ve had a new job for about two years. Well, really, I’ve had my own business. (I’m a Staffing Consultant by day). And because my most current job happens to pay well (and it also happens to be interesting and fun), I can spend time pursing these leisure activities. The money, coupled with the inconsistent nature of the work allows for downtime, which I have started to utilize to the fullest extent possible.
At first, I was using all the free time to perfect my skills on the computer. I was fascinated by all the things my little macbook could do. I started learning HTML, then moved on to CSS and PHP…I was moving quickly to full-fledged nerd. Denette and my mom were talking intervention. Then I got an iphone and the shit really hit the fan. I had one or the other with me at all times—yes, even in the bathroom.
But every once in a while I would look outside. Dim memories of a childhood spent outdoors would occasionally break through the haze of code or the shiny features of the newest application I had downloaded.
The real break happened about three or four months ago, when I decided to start climbing again. Denette bought me a crash pad for my birthday and I took the kids out to our local bouldering spot. And I fell in love again. The sun, the rock, the exertion, the satisfaction of sore muscles and a problem solved, all these things combined to shift my perspective profoundly.
I haven’t worked on PHP or HTML for three months. I’m just not into it. More and more, I’m shifting away from my macbook and my iphone. I’m starting to see them as tools again and not as an extension of me like they were becoming.
Because, seriously, if I want to do that kind of crap I’ll wait until I’m too old to climb or surf or play or lift. Because then I’ll have plenty of time to sit on my ass.